Exciting news for all cartoon fans

James has found a shoemaker who will mend his brown boots and sew the buttons back on his coat.

Insomaniaical gibber

I can't sleep.

Haven't been feeling very inspired by blogging lately.

James and I went for a very nice walk today from our house over to the local arts centre to look at pictures by the famous American photographer whose name escapes me...but took famous photos of people during the Depression.

It was a sunny day, probably the first sunny day of the year and it was really nice to get out and walk through the parks and we didn't get attacked by kids this year either. We saw very large moorhens (does anyone know what they're called?) and fat healthy pigeons, not like the ratty deformed ones you see in town, and people with their children and the river with a few bits of rubbish and we had a cup of tea in the cafe and I discovered that they run a fiddle course on Sunday afternoons and we wondered when the ducklings would come and admired the crocuses and snowdrops flowering away and looked at the daffodil stalks. Then we came back to our house where we live which STILL seems like it belongs to someone else. We had corn chowder for tea out of a packet not the fearsomely unhealthy version that James makes which requires Four different cheeses. Then I watched 'Just the Two of Us' - while James did some drawing (that Vernon Kaye's a strange one, isn't he? Does he do it on purpose for the telly?) and then I watched a video from the video shop a Cole Porter biopic - not sure about the structure but the songs were good. Gave up before the end cos his wife died and I cry too easily.

Then I read my gardening book and wondered what garden design I should have and felt daunted by the amount there is to learn and wondered if I could be a gardener when I grow up instead of an archivist.

Then I went to bed because I have to get up early tomorrow to go to a meeting which no-one else will go to porbably. And then I couldn't sleep so here I am. (at 1 am)

We have our book club meeting on Saturday and I am struggling to start the wretched book. I'ts Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John Le Carre, which you'd think would be quite an easy read. Not for me. I have no idea what's going on. The main character has been wandering around london in the rain feeling sad because his wife's left him. There's also a story about a boy at a grammar school who makes friends with one of the teachers who lives in a caravan. The names are very confusing; they're all similar and I can't remember who's who.

Better go and see if Morpheus turns up this time. See you later, chaps.

We made spanakopita (I have no idea how to spell this) last night. I have been wanting to make it for years. It was pretty good. Then we watched Wallace and Gromit.

la la la

All good pictures come from Mr Ashton

Girls...ROCK OUT
Originally uploaded by mondoagogo.

Lion

Lion
Originally uploaded by Pete Ashton.

A short review

I rented The Wedding Crashers from the video shop, expecting it to be crap. I thought it was quite funny. The bridesmaids' dresses in the last scene were very nice, quite similar to the ones my bridesmaids wore. The two main characters reminded me of Jerome and Dan, one monstrously large and kind and one slightly smaller and full of badness.

Watch this space for more film reviews, Marvin style.

Pastures new would be good

James has nearly finished his new book. He is very tired of it.

I have nearly finished my archive catalogue. I am very tired of the subject now.

A conversation

Says James, "I feel sad and tired."
Says Marv, "Poor James. Have an avocado. It'll remind you of home."
Says James, "No it won't. Where I come from, avocados grow on trees in the back garden."

Hoping for egg shocker

It's mating season on kakapo island.

I wonder whether the crap green parrots will manage to get it on this year.

Here are the statistics for 2005. It's quite good by kakapo standards.

10/20 adult females laid

7+ of 17 adult males mated

11/26 eggs were fertile

6/11 fertile eggs hatched. 2/6 chicks died. 5/5 chicks are being hand-raised due to failure of the natural food crop on Whenua Hou/Codfish Island.

0/10 nests

4 chicks - F1, F2, MM2 and S1

What have I been doing with my life?

Here is a list of sitcoms/American comedy dramas I have not watched:

most of Friends
Seinfeld
Cheers
Desperate Housewives
Sex and the City
Buffy
Angel
24

I watch loads of TV, though. And I will give up and become a better person who does sewing and makes soup while listening to improving programmes on Radio 4. But before this happy day arrives, I wonder what have I been watching that is even more useless than all this rubbish?

I don't like American sitcoms because everybody shouts and it makes me feel tired.

The clocks change on 26 March. Not too long to wait.

I had my cardiovascular induction at the gym last week. I was so ashamed that I had to cancel my weights induction bit of it. I am really unfit.

I tried to make conversation with the young man who pressed the buttons on the machines and wrote notes. We got onto the subject of sport, since England were playing Italy in the rugby. I asked him which sports he likes and we chatted politely about that. Unfortunately, asking open questions like this means that if you ask someone a question they will ask you the same question back.

Which sports do you like?

The truthful answer is 'ice skating'. I love watching ice skating and I think Yevgeny Plushenko was wonderful yesterday and Zhang and Zhang deserved their silver medal despite her nasty fall. I wish they showed more ice skating so I could keep up better. I hate going ice skating myself, though. It's like driving in heavy traffic. There are many things that reduce me to tears, but that does it more quickly than a lot of other things.

But if you say that you like ice skating, people think you're weird. And no-one knows anything about it, apart from Jonathan, who is watchign all Olympic sports avidly so he can analyse all the data with his huge statistical brain, so it doesn't provide much scope for conversation.

I also like tennis. I like playing tennis too. Roger Federer is a genius. I'm really looking forward to the clocks changing so i can play again with the lovely Ms Broadbean.

The nameless house

I haven't named our house yet.

And as you might have gathered, I am very fond of giving things inappropriate comedy names.

Hmmm. Time to see what gems lurk in the muddy depths of my subconscious. It's a bit like the deep sea, full of weird fish with fluorescent lights growing out of their foreheads on stems.

Perhaps it shouldn't have a name because the number is so cool.

And Tolkien used to live on this street. When he was poor.

Tree

Tree
Originally uploaded by Pete Ashton.

I made a chocolate cake this morning. It rose. I don't think I've managed to make a cake that rose properly for years. Then I put it on a plate becasue I haven't got a cooling rack and the middle of the bottom half stuck to the plate. So the bottom has collapsed somewhat.

The icing behaved oddly today. It's supposed to be pourable (is that a word?) then cool into a fudgey sort of icing. You pour half of it on top of the cake and it dries in a smooth professional way then you wait for the rest to cool and pile it into the middle. Yum. Today it solidified almost instantly and i had to squash it on top of the cake. It'll still taste nice though.

It is a thank you cake for James for all the work he did on the house.

I made it using diet scales. Ha, ha.

This is for Chrissy Wissy

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
Quentin Crisp

We went out for a drink in the Princess of Scotland last night. We had arranged to meet Pete and we were lucky and found Jerome there as well. It's always interesting when different species of friends meet, as I hope you can see from the following conversation:

"Oh no, " said Pete, "I've forgotten my tobacco pouch." To Jerome, "You don't smoke roll-ups, do you?"
"No," replied Jerome, "but you can have a mini-cigar if you like."

I can tell middle age is approaching because:

1 I always wear slippers in the house
2 I look young in university photos
3 My friends are having children
4 I find myself talking about things young people do
5 Fashions from my youth are back and I am appalled by their ugliness - drain pipe trousers and converse!
6 I am interested in gardening and genealogy

I mean, honestly...

Sleeping on them, yes.

Hotel Babylon

is a very confusing programme. Is it really bad or is it a clever spoof? I can't tell.

There are two things I particularly like about my job. One is that it's OK to wear jeans. The other is that I can arrive at 10am and work till after 6 without anyone batting an eyelid or thinking I'm lazy. So I get out of my lazy bed at 8.45, which is very pleasant. I don't like mornings because they make you feel you should be doing things. It's OK to do nothing in the afternoon and evening. It's amazing what you find yourself believing sometimes. As I wrote that, I realised that it is a guiding principle of my life.

But today was different. Today I had to get to work by 9 for a meeting. I was worried I wouldn't get out of bed so I woke up at 5am, 6.30 and 7.50 to check that I hadn't forgotten to get up at 8am.

I found my Princess Diana paper doll book the other day. You can dress her in the dresses she auc tioned for charity just before she died.

I think I will give it to Oxfam.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogroves
And the mome raths outgrabe

I hope I've got it right. La, la, life is jolly. The sun shone today.

This is what records managers do for a living. It comes with a health warning. Last time I linked to something work-related, people complained that it was boring. So here's the warning: you may find this boring. I don't understand it completely, but reengineering your business processes is obviously Very Important.

Hello everyone.

I can't think of anything to say today. We're having a very quiet weekend. James is working on his comic, which seems to be going all right. We had some visitors, which was nice. They brought us some candles as a housewarming present. Very generous.

I have been watching The Magic of the Musicals, hosted this week by Les Dennis. I want to be Ruthie [Henshall?] I enjoy it, although it sometimes feels a bit painful.

James and I are going to the supermarket now. I want to make a cake this afternoon.

Goodbye, dear readers. Thank you for your time. I'm in a bit of a blogging desert at the moment. Maybe I will become more interesting, but don't count on it.

Meetings, mustard, choir, committees, and motivation

We have a meeting tomorrow. I do like meetings. Because I am paid to sit in the corner and catalogue documents, talking to people at work is very exciting for me.

I have dropped mustard on my new green skirt. And onion/garlic/chickpea soup, which we have had for three nights in a row. It's delicious and i still like it after the third night. I would even eat it tomorrow. James has a cold so he's making strong-tasting food. I hope I don't reek of garlic.

I met Pete's friend Steve today. I asked him whether I had mustard on my face (I'd just eaten an organic sausage sandwich) and he kindly wiped my face just like your Mum does. How lucky to run into him just after I'd finished my sandwich. Truly I am God's favourite child. If there is a God. He said he was in a bad mood because he's trying to give up smoking. He was in the first 12 hours. Poor lad. Although I suspect his bad moods are like most people's average to normal days becuase he seems like such a nice person.

What a dull post.

Here are some things our choir conductor said tonight:

"Let's try and sing a major third in tune."
"The notes are right but it's sagging in the middle."
"The rest is like a board you use to leap over the vault."
"Feel the one in a bar."
"Needs a bit more spring."
"The sound is too dark - we're not singing Wagner."

He mixed the first and second sopranos up and I am standing near some first sopranos who giggle and make rude jokes. It's rather entertaining. Although I didn't get one joke until I was walking up the road on my way home.

The Finance and General Purposes Committee is driving me potty. I can't work out when it became one Committee instead of two.

Just remembered I have another meeting this afternoon, so tomorrow will be a day when I don't have to use my initiative. It's very hard to motivate yourself.