Why do I read about nearly extinct animals? It's so depressing.

Long-beaked echidna

Traditional hunting is the main reason for the species' decline. Long-beaked echidnas are highly prized game species and are hunted for food by local people with trained dogs. The other threats come from farming, logging and mining, which are causing a decline in the echidnas' forest habitat.

Z. attenboroughi may already be extinct. The only known specimen was collected in 1961 and the species is thought to be restricted to a single mountain summit with only 50km² of habitat.

A few lines from the Bible.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Hector

James hasn't seen Hector for a while. It's been very peaceful.

A question

Has anyone (meaning Messrs Bashford and Hall) read The Children of Hurin yet? Is it any good?

The Amazon reviews were quite mixed.

I am trying to come up with a satisfactory answer to the question, 'What are you going to do in France, Marv?'

So far, I have thought of the following:

1 I won't get there until the middle of November, by the time I've done my teaching course and been to Australia for my cousin's wedding. That leaves a month until Christmas, which I'll probably need to use to settle in. So nothing of much importance will happen until the New Year.

2 I will read lots of books. When I was little, I used to read a lot. I mean, a lot. Now I only read trashy books with gold titles and magazines because my brain is exhausted by too many years of archives. Occasionally I read a proper book and remember why I spent all that time reading when I was young.

3 I will do more music.

4 I will write a novel.

5 I will do some research.

6 I will do an online course.

7 I will do as little as possible.

8 I will find out about archives in France.

9 I will do the Stage in Paris.

10 I will go to the beach.

11 I will learn to cook really well.

Still here

It's Monday night and the worst of the scary stuff is over. I didn't tell all the volunteers to go away and leave the archive alone. I didn't shout at anyone for putting the archive in the wrong order. I didn't tell the annoying talky man who thought he knew it all to get lost. I was charming, I was kind, and I made tea.

I can be morose and uncommunicative for the rest of the week now.

New TV obsession

Grease is the Word!! Hurray!

Walking in Shropshire

Bird brain

James bought some pictures of sparrowhawks to stick on the kitchen windows. We hoped that this would deter Hector.

It didn't work. Hector is now jumping against the pane of glass next to the picture of the sparrowhawk. Perhaps we should try pictures of cats instead. Today, from the top of the bus, I saw a blackbird hopping happily around on the lawn with some worms in its beak. I wish he would live in our garden instead of Hector.

I played tennis tonight but I wasn't very good because I hadn't had any lunch, a foolish decision I regretted when I lost every game.

James has finished his comic. It took him a year.

I survived the volunteer day.

I am never going to run a volunteer programme again. It's too much trouble. Halfway through, I wanted everyone to go away and leave me alone. I don't think it showed. It turned out all right in the end.

We had another weekend choosing bridesmaids' dresses. James (and I suspect, the other men fortunate enough to be in relationship with bridesmaids) is appalled by our inability to make a decision because of our extreme politeness.

I am still trying not to be dutiful but sometimes I think I am beyond help or reason.

Dread

A mood of uncharacteristic honesty has come upon me, so I am going to give you a little insight into the Mind of Marv.

I have spent most of the past week dreading today and Monday of next week.

I was dreading today because I had an interview for a language teaching course. The 2 hour interview included a "language awareness and methodology test". Sounds scary, doesn't it? Various people have told me not to be ridiculous and this is the sort of thing I would be good at and I have studied various things that will help, but in my world that doesn't help for the followign reasons:

1 My inner gremlin might decide to do it badly on purpose because it can
2 I might actually be rubbish at it
3 Although I would be good at it, my tendency to overcomplicate simple things might lead me to look like I don't understand and I will therefore fail.
4 Various other paranoid reasons I cannot bring myself to admit

You will be pleased to hear that none of the above applied. I went to the interview, behaved like a normal adult, and was offered a place. So I start in mid-September. I will have to spend all day talking to other people, which I find very exhausting. But it's only four weeks long and then I can go and be a hermit for a while. Or is it an anchorite?

I am dreading Monday because I am holding a work volunteer programme and it's our first day. I really don't want to mess this up and I want it to work and be well organized. Why did I think this was a good idea? Why didn't I opt for a quiet life? Why did I invite loads of strangers in to help? But I am not alone. One of my colleagues will do all the talking to people and he could sell anything to anyone. Even heritage!!!

I will report on progress.

We are going bridesmaid's dress shopping this weekend again, what larks! We have some very jolly dresses in mind. I will post some photos if you can't see our faces and show what true Beauty is.

My training has gone up the spout. Must Do Better.

I will be very happy on Tuesday because I have my first hour long singing lesson with my beautiful Swedish singing teacher and the worst of the scary stuff will be over. Apart from moving to France, finishing my project, letting the house, finding work in July and August, doing this course, going to Australia with my mother.

Yikes! I think I'll crawl under a duvet and gibber for a while in order to pretend it's not happening. A tried and tested approach to life's challenges. When we get to France, I am resolved not to be such a good girl all the time and behave like a lazy arse for a bit.

Hector

James wants to rename him Nijinsky because Nijinsky did a dance with a mirror. We could also name him Gene, after Gene Kelly, who did a dance with his double.

Hector's wife/girlfriend has been watching his antics. I read up on blackbird behaviour. It seems likely that he will carry on throughout the summer.

Sigh.

I feel sorry for Hector but James says that in Hector's own (small) mind, he is a hero and I am wasting my pity. And now he has a lady to impress, he will be even worse.

I am so looking forward to Easter. Five days off!! I am going to replant some pots with geraniums and other spring flowers, investigate our compost and plant some seeds.

In which Marv tries to convey the profound tediousness of her work

I have had a minor breakthrough with my catalogue. I think we might make it after all. Now I have to cope with the excitement of feeling optimistic for once - it's like a drug.

I am so sick of this archive now. Words cannot convey how tedious it all is. But let's try.

Imagine being faced with a list of 350 tapes, most partly identifiable only by a transcript of the badly=written labelling on the boxes, and some of which mess up the order of the 1400 tapes already catalogued, Imagine picking the most obscurely labelled and listening to the beginnings and ends to determine whether they were broadcast or not. I did listen to a rahter good programme about canals, far too interesting to be made by Mr Genius, probably, although I have no way of telling who did make this programme.

I have a large blister on my ankle. It is painful. I put a plaster on it and made it more painful still.

What a jolly Easter I will have. And I'm not going to the gym tomorrow. Perhaps I will try on the bright red bridesmaid's dress in Monsoon.